Sometimes We Need Someone…

“Sometimes we need someone to accept and love us first. Then we would learn to see ourselves through that person’s eyes and learn to love ourselves.”

– Yuki Sohma, Fruits Basket

*

It’s a common thing to hear ‘If you don’t like yourself, then how do you expect others to like you?’ It’s a well-intentioned saying. It encourages you to think positively, think good of yourself and start boosting your self-esteem.

But despite its good intentions, it often over-simplifies the reality. Like Yuki puts it in an episode of Fruits Basket, what if you just can’t find anything about yourself that you like or feel good about?

The whole ‘If you don’t like yourself, then how do you expect others to like you?’ doesn’t always work because it assumes you can change your personal opinion about yourself just like that. Depending on how it’s said, sometimes it feels like sayer is accusing us of disliking ourselves and being negative on purpose, as if we can instantly stop whenever we like it.

And in a way, that probably makes things worse. They’re telling us to snap out of it but we can’t. They say it as if it’s a simple solution. How pathetic we must be if we can’t even follow something so simple, right? In this case, it has not helped us think more positively at all. It probably makes us feel worse.

Maybe that’s how we got here in the first place. Because we can’t find anything we like about ourselves. We can’t think positive when we don’t see anything positive to think about. Our thoughts can’t always be controlled so easily.

So I think this quote really hits the nail on the head. Sometimes we need someone to tell us what they see. Someone who can remind us of why we’re so likeable. Someone who makes us realise that there is something about us that can actually be loved. It doesn’t even have to be spoken in words, sometimes actions can be enough to make us think ‘they enjoy being around me,’ ‘they like talking to me,’ and eventually ‘maybe I’m not all that bad after all.’

And so, to all of you, my dear special readers, I leave you on this note: Go show someone how great and how loved they truly are today. Everyday 🙂

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About Lily

Lily is the blogger's name of an overimaginative, positivity-powered, and potentially awkward introvert girl who likes to think she's "quirky" (though it's very possible that she's just plain weird!) She loves music, musical theatre, art & comics, inspirational stories, languages, expressive people and anything that is a little eccentric.
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2 Responses to Sometimes We Need Someone…

  1. Why am I here?? To affirm that you are great, and that you are loved, my dear Lily!! Truth!

    I do agree with both the quote and your reasoning. “Self-affirmation” sounds good, but there’s something very unconvincing about it. But to be valued by others– there’s something we can really build on. It can make all the difference in our moving forward.

    Wonderful post, Lily, and very well written– take a bow! In fact, take several!! : )

    • Lily says:

      Thank you so much, Mark! Rest assured, your comments always add a little sparkle to my day 🙂

      I absolutely agree. And that’s why I think we should always give encouragement to those around us, whenever possible – just like in your comment, in fact! 😀

      Extra thanks for stopping by once again! Always appreciated 🙂

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