Learn To Love Ourselves

“They say that we should love ourselves first before other people learn to love us, but it’s not as easy as it seems. Sometimes, we need someone to love us and accept us first, then we would learn to see ourselves through that person’s eyes and learn to love ourselves.” – Yuki Sohma, Fruits Basket

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I recently discovered an unofficial radio dramatization of Fruits Basket (their website here or click here to listen on YouTube.) I’ve mentioned it before but Fruits Basket (a very popular manga/anime series) has been an all-time favourite series of mine. I’ve read the manga and continue to re-read chapters every so often. I’ve watched the anime under three different languages (English dubbed, original Japanese dub with English subtitles, and Cantonese dubbed… French with subs, you’re next on the list!)

Fruits Basket is truly inspirational and never fails to bring out my inner-Tohru (selfless, forever optimistic, and always kind without question). So that got me searching for some inspirational quotes.

I’ve actually previously posted a version of this quote before, but it really resonates with me. Yes, I understand it’s important to learn to love yourself. But it’s also important to feel loved by others. For some people, they won’t believe they are worthy of love until they feel it unconditionally from someone else.

This isn’t about substituting self-love with the love provided from another. This is about understanding that both are equally important. We can’t rely purely on someone else’s love to be happy with ourselves… but it’s perhaps unrealistic to rely purely on self-love too. It can be difficult to practise self-loving when you don’t believe you deserve it.

To have someone know you for who you are and to feel accepted by them, I think that’s very important.

I’ll be going back to bringing out my inner-Tohru now. 🙂

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About Lily

Lily is the blogger's name of an overimaginative, positivity-powered, and potentially awkward introvert girl who likes to think she's "quirky" (though it's very possible that she's just plain weird!) She loves music, musical theatre, art & comics, inspirational stories, languages, expressive people and anything that is a little eccentric.
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6 Responses to Learn To Love Ourselves

  1. soul . to . earth says:

    This made me think…..and now, I wonder….because I assumed I HAD to love myself before all else. To be honest, I’m not sure what love is – really! If love means curiosity and presence in all things & times, then, yeah! I do love myself and others. Do I like myself (and others) ALL the time? Yeah, no! 🙂
    Lily, your Tohru comes through in all your posts – hope you know this already. 🙂

    • Lily says:

      Love really is a strange thing! I really do believe that sometimes a little reassurance can go a long way. And that’s why we should always show love to others – let them know they ARE worthy 🙂

      Wow, I’m so happy you think so! That’s really quite a compliment haha, thanks so much Radhika 🙂

  2. Wonderful post, dear Lily– one of the most insightful I’ve read lately.

    “This isn’t about substituting self-love with the love provided from another. This is about understanding that both are equally important. (my emphasis) We can’t rely purely on someone else’s love to be happy with ourselves… but it’s perhaps unrealistic to rely purely on self-love too. It can be difficult to practise self-loving when you don’t believe you deserve it.”

    That is, IMHO, an incredibly wise observation. It may not be “politically correct” to say so, but I agree 100%. It seems to have become fashionable in recent years to see “self-love” as some sort of be-all and end-all. As if one can summon it up on demand and say: “OK, I’m good, that’s all I need.”

    That’s always seemed silly and unrealistic to me. Like giving someone a trophy and saying: “You’re already a winner! No need to expend yourself in any way. No need to inspire love in others by being a loving, caring person and extending love to others.” So foolish. The two things are tied together, as you have so wisely observed.

    Despite being a basket case (!), I’m not really conversant in “Fruits Basket”– but I loved reading about your “inner-Tohru (selfless, forever optimistic, and always kind without question)”– and I recognized you immediately! Radhika’s absolutely right: your Tohru comes thru in all your posts. Thanks as always for being such an essential good influence!! : )

    • Lily says:

      Wowww, I am feeling spoilt – what a comment!

      You’re definitely right, people do make self-love to be “the magic fix” that anyone is capable of doing and fixes all our problems. And anyone who thinks otherwise is seen as too reliant on others.

      “Extending love to others” is exactly what it’s about. To love and be loved. I’ve always thought: if there’s someone out there who doesn’t know how to love themselves, I don’t want them to feel bad. Because maybe they haven’t learned how or don’t believe they are loveable – so it’s up to us to show them, they are.

      Thanks once again for stopping by, Mark, and for such an insightful comment! 🙂

      This is Tohru signing out! 😛

  3. soul . to . earth says:

    Ahem, keep roaring (gently, of course!), dear Tohrusaurus!!!🐣🐉🐲🎶😇

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