If I’m honest… I don’t always tell people the whole truth about how I’m feeling. I guess I find it easier to write it down, giving myself a way to express it – but also keep it to myself.
The main reason being… I already know how people might respond. And I guess by knowing, I feel I don’t need to go through it again in real life… since I’ve already gone through it in my head.
Especially if my feelings are somewhat irrational. I already know they’re irrational and I don’t need someone else telling me what I know.
Luckily for me, I’m quite good at remaining rational while having irrational thoughts. And I find it easier to continue being rational when someone isn’t telling me that I need to be rational. Or reminding me that I’m being irrational. Is that strange?
My favourite character from Glee was Emma Pillsbury. She suffered from irrational thoughts yet remained entirely logical for the sake of her students (since she was a school guidance counsellor).
It’s a blessing and a curse. A blessing to be able to advise yourself. A curse to feel like you can’t share what your problem is in the first place.
I don’t blame anyone. It’s purely from the way I’ve gone through life. I’m just so used to giving advice to myself, I don’t feel I need it from anyone else… well, except for the advice I get from fictional characters of my favourite TV programmes.