Don’t Be Afraid Of Being Goofy

You shouldn’t be afraid to be goofy, silly, a little crazy.

The same way you shouldn’t be afraid to make mistakes.

It’s natural to want to avoid embarrassment and failure when possible but we forget that those things are inevitable in life. Whoever went through life without tripping up at least once? Instead of being afraid of it happening, we should embrace it. If it happens, we should take our time to process and evaluate – whether that be laughing at yourself, crying, or hiding under a blanket for a few days… ๐Ÿ™‚ – but ultimately, we move on with time.

The more we fall, the more we learn how to handle it. Of course every situation is different, some falls will be falls and others will be tumbles, but it makes us resilient. It helps us realise we can survive that kind of situation.

So don’t let fear hold you back. Jump in, dive in, or even tiptoe into the Ocean Of Challenges and don’t worry about getting soaked ๐Ÿ™‚

 

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Social Hangover Leads To Some Very Deep Thoughts

For those who haven’t heard of the term Social Hangover, it is basically a ‘hangover’-like feeling caused by over-socialising. Sometimes it’s called an Introvert Hangover because it commonly affects us introverts, as it takes more of our energy when it comes to socialising/being in a highly social environment than it would for an extrovert.

I only came across this term recently. This article on Introvert Dear explains it quite well.

The previous night I attended a big all-day-and-night social event. It involved a lot of people I didn’t know. I fully expected to be ‘hungover’ from too much social stimulation – for me, that means extreme tiredness for most of the next day whilst I recharge my batteries. Then usually back to normal the day after.

The time spent during a social hangover is time I spend analysing the event which caused it. What did I do, what could I have done differently, was I being social enough, etc etc etc… and for last night, I think my main one was this:

What’s behind my aversion to alcohol? I was offered sips of two different drinks that night. Despite encouragement from others, I’ve never been an alcohol drinker simply because I wasn’t interested. Any drinks I have tried, I didn’t really like the taste of. Why drink something that didn’t taste nice? But that night, the two little sips I did try… actually tasted alright. But it was because I couldn’t really taste the alcohol (granted, I took the tiniest sips in the world). So what’s the point in adding the alcohol into the drink if I couldn’t taste it? I’m guessing it’s the alcohol part which I dislike the taste of. Is it possible for this drink to be made without alcohol but still taste the same? If so, maybe I could drink that. But then it isn’t alcohol… so what’s the point of the alcohol in the first place?

Maybe it’s like when you cook with wine. It enhances the taste of the food without putting any alcohol taste in there. So maybe people enjoy alcoholic beverages in the same way.

I wonder if it’s because I associate alcohol with people getting absurdly drunk. Being out with drunk people before, I can see the effects it has on the drinker – it loosens them up, makes them feel less socially-inhibited. So many people do it and they have a good time from it which is fair enough.

After some thinking, I came to the realisation. I think my aversion to alcohol stems from my aversion of doing things because society says so. “This is what people do, everyone does it.”

But I have experiences from growing up where I’ve tried following the trend to fit in with the ‘popular.’ And popular rejected me anyway. No matter how hard I followed the popular trends, I still didn’t fit in. So over time, I think I developed an aversion to anything ‘popular’ or ‘trendy’. And that includes drinking alcohol.

Having said all that, I probably still won’t get into drinking because… still not that interested. But I suppose I wouldn’t mind trying some more sips just to see what the taste is like. But only like a sample-size. Not sure I’d manage a full glass, in the same way I prefer tiny-portion desserts over a massive slice of cake because I don’t have much of a sweet tooth ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve never had a real hangover (caused by drinking) but I would imagine it involve tiredness, sluggishness, and a general feeling of “why did I drink so much last night?” My social hangovers are similar (“why did I socialise so much last night?”). In truth, the event last night was really fun and I enjoyed it – it just takes a lot out of me. And apparently causes a social hangover leading to some very deep life thoughts. ๐Ÿ™‚

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A Random Thought of Love

There came a day where I thought to myself:

If an almighty entity appeared before me, telling me they could guarantee happiness to the people I love and grant them everything they could ever want in life… but the cost would be my own happiness, that I may never get the things I want… would I agree?

My answer? Yes. Yes I would.

There wasn’t even a shred of doubt.

Admittedly, this is probably quite an odd thing for me to think at… I think I was about 13 or 14… but there it is. ๐Ÿ™‚

And to this day, I would still choose the same answer.

I feel lucky to have felt such love for people. And I don’t mean romantic love. I just mean pure, emotional love – that sense of care you feel for family or friends.

Don’t worry. I know to still look after myself. But if I love you, I’m not afraid to sacrifice a little of my own happiness for you to get yours. I can fight. I can take pain. If it means you won’t have to. Because I wouldn’t want you to.

Perhaps it’s a downfall. But I don’t like to believe it is. “Looking after number one” was never a phrase that I could follow.

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Open-Minded

I sometimes find myself talking less about certain things because it’s disheartening when the other party isn’t interested. And I don’t really want to bore them.

On the other hand, it’s a beautiful feeling when you find someone who truly is interested in what you have to say. Even when they don’t have much knowledge on what you’re telling them, but they still listen with interest. I think that’s heartwarming.

I like to be open-minded and always willing to know about new things. This reminds me of why.

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Socialising vs Socialising?

Certain kinds of socialising take a lot out of me. Big crowds and a lot of noise overwhelm me. But somehow it never stops me from choosing to experience it every once in a while.

Part of it is because I do enjoy the company of the people I’m with. And for them, I’m happy to expend some of my ‘social reserves.’ The other part, I guess, is to remind me that – yeah, I was right all along. This isn’t ‘my’ kind of socialising. I couldn’t do this every day.

Though I’m not sure why I really need reminding. I’ve always known it!

Coffee shops and cosy chats. That’s ‘my’ kind of socialising. Less hustle and bustle, more deep conversation. This kind of socialising refills my energy instead of depletes it.

Strange how there are different types of socialising. Strange how some people seem to manage doing all of them and others – like me – are only capable of some!

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Once a Friend, Always a Friend

Every person who has ever come into my life and considered me a friend will be my friend always.

It doesn’t matter if I haven’t seen you for a month, a year or ten years. If we crossed paths, I’ll always be happy to say hello and catch up. If you were a friend to me, that much will always be true.

I used to be a very anxious person around people. Okay, perhaps I still can be, but I’d say I’m much less so now than I was back then. So I was always happy when someone would accept me as their friend. Back then, I don’t think I gave it much thought but the Present Day Me really appreciates their friendship.

As everyone follows their different life paths, it can be difficult to keep up with each other. We all have different lives and different things keeping us busy. With social media like Facebook around, you’d think it was easy to keep in touch. But it’s ironic that the easier it is to get in touch, the less we seem to actually do it. It’s useful to be able to keep up with everyone’s lives via Facebook posts but also easy to forget that it could be nice to directly catch up with them once in a while.

Nevertheless, I ultimately find it a handy way to keep up to date with everyone’s lives. Whilst I’m not glued to my newsfeed, I do enjoy it when I come across nice updates from my friends. It’s so strange how far we have got and how different our lives have become.

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This week I crossed path with friends I hadn’t seen since high school. It was super lovely to catch up with them and they inspired this post ๐Ÿ™‚

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Can I Tell You A Secret?

Last year, I went through a thing. We’ll call it a ‘thing’ because it has no real definition. It wasn’t a singular event. It really is just a ‘thing’ because it kinda just happened. In my mind, anyway.

I wonder if people have noticed. How I’ve become a seemingly bolder, more assured version of myself. Maybe not. It wasn’t like it happened in one day. It happened quite gradually, perhaps they barely noticed anything happening.

At the time, I had become so tired of second-guessing my every move, being overly anxious and unknowingly allowing others to hold power over my decisions (well, if they say that’s the right thing to do, then I’ll just follow their word…). Soย one day my mind switched to the complete opposite. I’d lost any ounce of fear I had in me. Consequences no longer scared me. If I made the wrong decision, it was becauseย Iย made that decision. Nobody else. The responsibility is my own.

I was no longer afraid of taking the wrong path. I no longer allowed anybody else to pick my answers for me. Because although I didn’t realise it at the time, I no longer wanted to hold other people accountable for my actions.

If I ran into obstacles, then I would climb them. If I fell, I would pick myself back up. I’m not afraid to fight. And I’m not afraid to do things for myself anymore instead of relying on others.

It was, perhaps, a slightly dangerous way to live. Having absolutely no fear at all. Jumping headfirst without thinking. The complete opposite to my overthinking, toe-dipping method I’d become so used to. In truth, I really didn’t mind what could’ve happened to me because I was too busy making myself run into the action. I think I was having some serious manic moments.

But it was liberating. To no longer be held back by such anxiety. Although perhaps a severe way of realising it, I learned what it felt like to embrace your decisions without feeling so afraid.

Fortunately, I feel I’m in a more balanced place now. Admittedly, I do still get moments where I overthink. But I’m working on it and I do try to stop myself from unproductively overthinking.

When I think about it, my inner-Tohru (bright, cheerful, optimistic) is still prevalent but I think the small percentage which held my inner-Misaki (fierce and determined) has really grown in the last few months. I love both characters for their selflessness and courage, so I think this is a good combination to strive for!

I’ve deemed 2017 a year of two themes. One is of ‘finding myself’ which seems to be happening nicely on its own. The other is ‘nice unexpected surprises.’ Which, again, seems to be happening nicely on its own in terms of myself but I also deliberately chose this as a personal goal aimed at other people. I want to try and give as many people a ‘nice unexpected surprise’ as possible. When I think of how happy they might feel to receive such a surprise, it makes me so excited to plan even more!

And that… is my secret ๐Ÿ™‚

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